What A Conservative Gal Wants
Vanderbilt's tamer version of Ann Coulter wants you to know what a real man does and does not do:
You should know more about sports than, well, me. And golf and tennis don’t count. I should not be explaining to you what a 3-4 defense is. Core knowledge of football (pro and college), NCAA basketball and Major League Baseball required; at least passing knowledge of the NBA and NHL. Don’t fake it either. If, like, the Brawny paper towel man quizzed you tomorrow, you should know who and what these are: the Willis Reed Game, Pedro Feliz, “We want the ball and we’re gonna score,” and who led the Atlanta Braves to glory in the 1990s.
Real guys hunt and fish. Over break, I went grouper and snapper fishing offshore in the Gulf with my cousins; they wore camouflage pants, bled the fish and talked Southeastern Conference football. I know that’s popping and locking somewhere at Vanderbilt, but many of the gentlemen of Vandy could use an infusion. You know, mix a little rap and country into that indie music, Buddy Holly glasses bubble.
By the way, fighting is hot. Don’t forget that.
Damn, I guess someone's been slipping some estrogen into my breakfast every morning without my knowledge. Hell, my Grandfather, who fought in World War II and received a Purple Heart, doesn't even hunt; guess Pappy needs to man up if he doesn't want to be emasculated in the eyes of Katherine Miller.
So listen up men folk, if you ever wanna impress a Vandy girl, next time you are walking on the street, if you see a homeless person, be sure to run up, kick 'em in the nuts, and yell "get a job you lazy bum!" It'll get Miller's motor running, that's for sure.
(h/t ACK)
4 comments:
Right on. Miller's article is gross and outdated and I can assure you she does not speak for womankind. I have a feeling she would not stand for a man telling her she was not being feminine enough because she likes to fish and talk SEC football. And watching frat guys get into a fight at a bar is not hot. It is gross.
Isn't it obvious that, if her cousins are so awesome, she should just stick to them?
Ah, youth. It's so adorable.
She's got some really low standards.
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlen
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